Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Not So Easy This Time

Steve is leaving very early tomorrow morning.

It feels harder than ever to let Steve go. It's been a bit of an emotional day for me. I don't feel ready for this right now, yet, there is nothing that can be done about it. I've been trying to hold in the tears most of the day, but this evening I finally let them go. Steve went upstairs to record himself reading a relaxtion script and a book I bought for the baby, so I stayed downstairs and began to write in my journal for the evening. And there they were, those darn tears I've been holding back. I don't usually cry so much when he goes. Of course I cry a little the night before, and then a little more after I drop him off at the airport... but this time I can't help but sob and sob. Darn pregnancy hormones! But, really, its more than that. I'm going to miss him terribly. This time home (and most times) was such a sweet experience. Of all the things in my life (the gospel goes without saying and so does this I reckon), our marriage is the greatest blessing I could ever have. I'm so grateful to have such an amazing marriage to an amazing man.

Steve, I love you! I wish you didn't have to go... I know you wish the same. Here's to just 3 more months.

5 comments:

Lehmann Adventures...... said...

so much uncertenty in the world, and yours is just about to get that much more complicated. i know how u feel, i am usually strong when adam leaves but this time has been very difficult for me as well. cry all u want it helps and it will be over before u know it. Steve will be home and u will have a beautiful baby girl. my thoughts and prayers are with. oh do not get a massage or pedicure it can induce labor (i have seen it happen!)

Lea Ann said...

I don't know how you do it everytime, but I understand why this is the hardest. Hormones and knowing this is the last time. Are prayers are with Steve and you at this time.

CM Stephensen said...

Thanks Lea Ann! Thanks Robin!

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know we love you!!!!

Pittman Four said...

Just wanted you to know that we were thinking about you...

:) He'll be home soon!!!!
Hey One day closer to when he gets home. :)